The Top 3 Worst Things about Texas

August 1, 2017 by noelbranham in Texas 2 comments
The Top 3 Worst Things about Texas

Yes. You read that title right. As blasphemous as it sounds there are some things wrong with Texas. Let’s look at them in detail:

  1.  It ain’t big enough. We’ve all heard it. El Paso is closer to San Diego than to Houston. It’s astounding. But isn’t that still a little sad? Shouldn’t it be… Santa Fe, TX, is closer to New Orleans, TX, than New York, TX. (See what I did there?) You know it would be the best possible solution if we just made our great big state even bigger!
  2. There ain’t enough Texans. You read me right, partner… there ain’t. (Which definitely IS a word). You see, if there were enough Texans to go around, they would be able to infect the world with their friendliness and the proper terms when referring to a few people, (y’all) and when referring to a large group of people, (All y’all). The day when all y’all people of the world say y’all and are kind to each other… is the day you know there are enough Texans inhabiting it.
  3. Breakfast tacos don’t exist outside the state. That’s right. The moment you exit the Promised Land of Texas and drive over the state line is the moment you mourn all that is good and right for your taste buds. People in other parts of the country just don’t understand why you would put eggs in a taco… with crispy bacon… and savory potatoes…. and cheese. So cry softly when you drive across that state line, weep gentle tears because the food of your people will not continue on with you. Or better yet… just do a big ‘ol U-turn. Oklahoma may have a musical named after itself, but all the surreys with their fringes on top drove on down to Texas for breakfast time.

 

Now all y’all know the truth about the worst things about Texas. We were going to write a post about all the good things in Texas but that would be impossible. Even Texas ain’t big enough to contain a list like that.

2 comments on this post

  1. Katie
    August 15, 2017

    I agree, with ALL of it. Wish I still lived in Texas!

    Reply
    • noelbranham_alovpg
      August 15, 2017

      Hope you get home soon. 🙂

      Reply

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